Make your life happy

”I don’t know what to do with you. You just irritate me. I hate to see you” -This young man’s voice was trembling; his body was shaking when he shouted at the other guy in the room. Then he pushed the guy out and shut the door. Such things happen in our hostel, home and work place, when the disagreement goes beyond limits. Just one word made his face red, voice tremble and body shake. What did he say? -’hate’. If this word can be removed from our thoughts, most of our problems vanish. What happens when we hate some one?  It affects us more than the person hated. Sometimes the person we hate may not even be aware of the hatred. Think of a colleague you hate at your work for some reason. Every time he walks across, you feel uncomfortable. Your colleague may not be aware of this. He will be doing his routine as usual without any affliction. You are the person affected because of your hatred towards him.

 Hatred is the number one enemy of mankind. This has been the cause of most of brutal actions including killings. Likes and dislikes are the root cause of hatred. Whenever someone prevents you from getting what you like, you hate that person. We often read in News papers about incidents where someone who is in love with a person or thing has attacked another person who stands in the way and prevents. In a moment of hatred, even loved ones are attacked brutally. Whenever there are likes, the dislikes equally grow in parallel. Whenever the likes are not fulfilled, you dislike the situation and the persons who stand in the way. This starts from childhood. Now a days we hear even a child telling the mother, “I hate you mummy”, when the mother refuses to give the child’s favorite toy. The mother also liberally uses such statements whenever the child refuses to obey her. This has even become a fashion. It is unfortunate that without even our knowledge we are sowing the seed of hatred, the biggest enemy within ourselves from childhood.

As human beings all of us have likes and dislikes. This is natural. But there are good things to like and bad things to dislike. Just like it is good to help others just like it is good to listen to devotional music, disliking tobacco is also good. But in life there are many occasions where our likes clash with each other such as business, employment, education etc. There is competition among the contenders. How can we deal with such situation and avoid hatred? There are three steps to practice:

·         Discourage immoral and unhealthy likes and dislikes

·         Accept different likes and dislikes of others and accommodate them

·         You be the master of your likes and dislikes, do not lose your freedom to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to your likes and dislikes.

Most of our problems are due to our attitude of non acceptance of difficult situations. No one is exempted from facing difficult situations. Even incarnations had to face difficult situations. This is law of nature. We consider difficult situations as threat to us and resist them. The best way is to undergo the difficult situations wisely as no one can completely avoid such situations. When you resist and hate a situation, you magnify the reality, your mind is over powered and you lose your ability to solve the problem. Above all, when you hate, you create a negative thought. Negative thought attracts negative power. Mind has a tremendous power to create negative events of negative thinking and positive events of positive thinking.

 In God’s creation everything is meaningful. We don’t understand the reasons on many occasions. At a later stage when the events have already passed, we understand some of them. In Bagavad Gita, God describes the qualities of a bhakta (devotee) beloved to Him: “The one who has no hatred for all beings, who is friendly, compassionate, free from possessiveness, free from doership, equal in pleasant and unpleasant situations, accommodative, completely satisfied, always united, who has mastery over his mind, whose mind and intellect are resolved in Me is beloved to Me.”

It is interesting to note that God mentions ‘no hatred for all beings’ as the first quality of his beloved bhakta. The entire creation is His; in fact He Himself is the manifest universe. Therefore the first thing one should learn is acceptance and no hatred for all beings. God is the controller of results of our actions and He gives us the situation including the difficult ones. Therefore when we accept such situations with reverence to God and the world, we will have the strength to face them and solve the problems without hatred. There are only different situations given to us, nothing to hate. So, whenever you come across a difficult situation, suggest to yourself to accept the situation and pray God to give you the strength to face the situation. This will pass. Practice this and see the difference that it makes in your life. Think of the benefits of dropping this word ‘hatred’ form your dictionary. The first benefit is that your BP will not go up; you will live a long and healthy life. Your mind will be always peaceful, thereby increasing your efficiency many times; you can achieve your goals much easier. You create a peaceful atmosphere at home, at work, wherever you are. Just forget this one word and make your life happy.

-Arasu Ramanujam